ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
