john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
