We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
