AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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