one might say we're banned from that church
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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