We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
