Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
