brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Randomize
