If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
