No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
