She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
