What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
