I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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