I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
