do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
