There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
