I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize