Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
