You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
