ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I think my moral compass just broke
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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