watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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