your thong is hanging out like whoa
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
