Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
