you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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