how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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