I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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