9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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