and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
we're so committed to being not committed
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
