I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
So many bounce houses so little time
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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