Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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