the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize