I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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