Don't you send me to vm
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
