I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize