Yo dont text me then not text me
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
