she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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