Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
