member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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