I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize