I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
