Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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