not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
