I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
