Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
My dad just said "fuck circus"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
All I want is dick and wine.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
