i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
