when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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