ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
