I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You dont lie about slip and slides
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
