So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
