I just found puke in my bra..
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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