i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
