I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
