I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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