I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
