I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
