Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
