i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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