Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i barfeds in our rink
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Fuck appropriateness.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
