when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
