who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Randomize
