Porn is love you can see.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
