I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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