My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
