Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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