You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
