did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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