If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize