My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
