You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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