I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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