I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
