Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize