so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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