I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
