i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
